Today. Today like other days have been the same old same old. I sleep in and check my email. Then I go on to talk to my mom about how I have gotten yet again another email for another interview for Americorps. Yes, this is like the 100th time I have gotten the interview email. I have also gotten the second round interview email and when will it finally be that 101th time that things work out. Well here's to hoping...or maybe that's the crappy part. Maybe that's what I am doing wrong, the fact that I immediately look for a place to live, think about if I know anyone in that city and this is the worst part--I see myself there. I fall in love before we even meet. I am in love with something I don't even know. It's pathetic. I am one of those crazy bitches who love the idea of marriage. Except, I'm in love with, a hypothetical job. I mean sure in my head this job is a total dreambot and could lead to a life of happiness but whatever. Who's more pathetic? Me or the crazy bitches who want to be married? Oh Wow!
Oh Wow! Oh Wow because I want to be married too one day with a perfect job! When did things get so crazy? I mean I never had a plan but I like to think I do--or did but that ended when I graduated College. You think after a double major, a minor and a certificate with three internships you could get a job. Umm, I mean I am applying for unpaid work and I can't even get that. Hell I am not even equipped to build houses for poor people. I just want to make a difference and gain some professional experience! Maybe work for a national non-profit and do something awesome. I mean sure I have done some awesome things in my life but I want to do something so awesome that it is not questioned. It is just known--such as working for an organization that--I don't helps people! Weird I know I want to fucking help people and no one wants me. I'm too needy? I'm writing a blog about it...
Oh god.
Help me.
